The Sake Mystery
by Yeata Zi
Summary: Sano's sake was stolen (OH THE INSANITY). Will the detective he's hired get it back? Find out! Who is that dark figure? Will the sake finally be found? My first fan-fic ever! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I sat alone in my office. I hadn't had a case in weeks. I hadn't eaten in two days either, and I was thinking about stealing some ramen from that Akabeko place in town. You see, no one would give me a case, because I was probably the only female private eye in all of Japan. I was still considering this ramen heist when I heard a knock at the door. "Oh goody. A case!" I thought to myself as I let out a meek "come in," to my possible meal ticket.  
The man who opened the door was rather tall, and he had a fish bone in his mouth. He dressed all in white, and you could see his chest where his shirt was open. The most memorable thing about this guy was his hair. He had perhaps the strangest hair I have ever seen. He looked like a rooster, with a red band around his head. He looked young too, maybe 19 or 20, not too much older than myself.  
He sat down at my desk, and said, "My name is Sanosuke Sagara, and do I have the case for you."  
My heart leapt at the sound of a case. "Maybe I will be able to eat tonight," I found myself thinking.  
"But I won't be able to pay you,"  
My heart sunk. It would be another night without food. "Mr. Sagara," I said in my most business like voice, "I have not had a case in weeks. I'm starving! I need money!"  
He smiled and said, "I knew you would be desperate enough to take my case. Will you take food for your payment?" I nodded. "Good," he said, "You can come eat at my friend's dojo, she won't mind. The food isn't much, but it's better than starving," he mumbled what he said next "I doubt a cat would eat her food."  
"Well, as long as I'm fed, I guess I'll take the case," I said, relieved I would get some payment for my work.  
"By the way," he said, "what's your name?"  
"Zi Zakiro. Couldn't you tell by the sign outside my office?" Sagara just gave me a blank stare. "Ok, guess not. Anyway, Mr. Sagara, tell me all about this case. Was someone murdered?"  
"Nope."  
"Money stolen?"  
"What money?"  
"Someone following you?"  
"Not that one either."  
"Was a valuable stolen then?"  
"Yes."  
Finally, we were getting somewhere. "Oh really," I said, "What?"  
"My secret sake stash."  
  
Note from author: This is my first fanfic ever! (Whoopee!) I'm trying to make it somewhat funny, but mostly stupid! Oh yeah, and for those of you that don't know "sake" is a Japanese alcoholic beverage. Yeah. I'm done. 


	2. Chapter 2

Note from Author: I'm going to start putting my notes up here from now on. That way I can indent the first paragraph on the story (can't understand why that didn't work). I may not be able to write the next part of the story for a while (bum bum buuuuuuum), because I'm going to camp, and there are no computers at camp (I know! It's awful!). I guess that's my punishment for sending the first chapter in kind of late. Oh well. Sorry to my "fans" (which I don't have). Well, here's chapter 2!  
  
I almost fell out of my seat. I found myself nearly declining the case because of its sheer stupidity, but then I would go hungry, and I didn't want that. "You are serious," I said to Mr. Sagara.  
"Of coarse I am. This is important Detective." I had trouble keeping a straight face. "Wonderful," I thought, "My client is a drunk."  
"Mr. Sagara," I said, "Do you have any clues as to who might have taken it?"  
"Nope, but I do know who could have taken it." This was like talking to a rock with a voice box.  
"How bout we go eat at your friend's place first," I said, thinking with my stomach, "I'm really hungry!"  
"And after that you can go and check out the crime scene." He was actually serious.  
"Ok," I said, "food first." He took me to his friend's run down dojo. I expected to see several students, but it appeared there was only one. He was outside swinging around his stick in the yard.  
"Yahiko," Sagara said, "Have you seen the Missy?"  
"Ugly hasn't been here since this morning. She went shopping with Kenshin."  
This was all very interesting. The kid refers to "Missy" as ugly? Or is it Sagara refers to "Ugly" as missy?  
"Who's that?" the kid said pointing at me standing beside the gate. He picked up his wooden stick and was preparing to thwap me with it when Sagara stopped him.  
"She's a friend," he said, "and she's going to eat with us today."  
"Sano's got a girlfriend! Sano's got a girlfriend." "This was great," I found myself thinking "Not only was the kid going to inflict pain on me with a wooden stick, but now he thinks I'm Sagara's girlfriend. Wonderful." Sagara began chasing the little one around, while the little one made faces at him, and ran. "Like children," I thought, sitting down on a step to watch them. "We're home, that we are," said a man's voice. I looked over too see who it was, but I thought I had seen to girls. I had to look twice to see the redhead was a guy. He was really skinny, and had long red hair. Not to mention the illegal sword at his side. "Maybe I could turn him in," I thought, "maybe I could get a reward for this skinny guy," but as I looked at him again I began to think, "He's to wussy to do anything anyway, let him keep his girly sword." "What are you doing here Sanosuke," said the other one, "here for more food, you freeloader?" "Now Miss Kaoru," said the redhead sweetly, "you don't want to upset our company, that you don't." He was referring to me. I thought about saying "No, that's quite all right, I'd like to see Sagara's head ripped off," but I thought it was better if I didn't. "Actually," Sagara said, "my friend here, is here for food. She hasn't eaten in days. I thought you could find it in your heart to feed her, but if your going to treat us like that--" "She really hasn't eaten?" said Kaoru. "Afraid so." "Then she can eat here! You will just love my cooking! IT'S THE BEST!" I could see Sagara behind her pretending to choke. "Kenshin!" she continued, "Get the rice!" She was a bossy one, that poor wimpy man. "May I ask your name?" said the wimpy guy. "It's Zi," I said coolly. "SO! She can talk," said the kid. It was then I realized I hadn't spoken since my arrival. "Mine's Kenshin, that it is." This was going to be interesting. 


	3. Chapter 3

Note from author: I didn't think I would be making another chapter so soon, but when you're on a roll, you keep on rolling. I figure since I won't be back for a while, you might as well get a taste of dinner. So here's chapter 3! (Had to do a bit of reviving.....)

I sat at the dojo in complete silence. Hungry silence. All of its occupants were busy cleaning, or cooking, or in Kenshin's case, doing the laundry. The only person not helping was Sagara. He basically just sat there, chewing his fish bone, and criticizing the young one about cleaning floors. "Well I don't see you doing anything," Yahiko said. Sagara really was a freeloader. They argued a while, and I grew bored. My stomach growled, but dinner was not yet ready.

"Mr. Sagara," I said, "this would be the perfect time to look at the crime scene," it would keep me occupied so I wouldn't have to think about food.

"You mean my sake stash?"

I sighed. "Yes Mr. Sagara, your 'sake stash'."

"Well, it's gone. That's why I hired you." Again, I almost fell to the ground.

"SAGARA! SHOW ME WHERE IT USED TO BE!" Everything was silent after my sudden outburst. I think I heard an "oro," whatever that means. Kenshin looked up from his laundry, "Are you alright Miss Zi?" He called me Miss Zi?

"Oh, everything is just peachy," I said, dragging Sagara behind a tree. "Now where was your sake before it was stolen?"

"It was," he began, "buried behind this tree." That was a start. I examined the tree. If I hadn't dragged Sagara behind it, all the evidence wouldn't have been destroyed. "Oh well," I thought, "Not like this is serious." I examined the spot where someone had obviously been digging. There were piles of dirt clogs in places, but that could have been Sagara's doing. I looked for any strange markings on the tree. None. There were some strange markings in the ground. "Probably from where I've dragged Sagara," I thought, dismissing any questions in my mind. I was about to dig up Sagara's "sake stash" when Kaoru called us in for dinner. "This will have to wait." I said to Sagara, "I am hungry."

I followed Sagara into a room with a table, and sat down. Sagara was right. I would just as soon eat a cat, than let it eat her food. I was too hungry to care though. So I held my nose, and shoved the food down my throat. I could tell everyone was looking at me. They quit eating to stare. "See," Kaoru said, "someone likes my food."

"She only likes it because she's starving," said the wise Yahiko.

"You shouldn't say that to the Assistant Master of the Kamiya Kasshin Style, and your sensei, little Yahiko."

"I'M NOT LITTLE!" I made a mental note; "little Yahiko does not like being called 'little'." I didn't want him coming after me with that wooden stick again.

"I like your cooking Miss Kaoru, that I do," said Kenshin. They laughed at this. I don't see how anyone but a starving person could like her cooking.

"So you are the sensei," I said, "I was thinking it was Kenshin."

"No, I am the sensei," said Kaoru.

"I only thought it was you," I said to Kenshin between bites, "Because you carry a sword. Excuse me for asking, but why carry one if it's illegal?" He unsheathed it to let me see. I was frightened at first, but then he urged me to examine it. It was a rather awkward sword. "The blade is on the wrong side?" I said. This was quite unexpected.

"That it is. You could kill no one with this blade," he said, "but the shotgun in your coat is another matter."

Note from author: The plot thickens!


	4. Chapter 4

Note from author: I AM SOOOOOO SORRY IT TOOK ME SOOOOOO LONG TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER! I promise I'll be better about that. You know. I had a lot of camps to go to (cough lie cough) Thanks for all the nice encouraging reviews put up by fans... maybe? (HA! Fans snicker) I know I have made Sanosuke a little stupid..... but it makes the story funnier. Heh. Ok..... we left off with a gun correct? Well here we go!

How had he known about my gun? This wussy girly man was certainly stronger than he appeared. Or he was psychic, whatever floats your boat. I had to think on my feet, detectives do that you know. "It's for protection," _yeah that's it,_ "A seventeen year old girl needs to protect herself. Especially in the town its rumored the Battousai lives." That was the best I could come up with. They all looked a bit suspicious after I said that. Karou was about to say something, but young Yahiko broke in.

"That's why I carry a sword!" he said, holding up his twapping stick. I giggled. I couldn't help but think about the kid beating up on an army of Sagaras with only a wooden stick. I think they bought my story, or didn't care. Kenshin seemed a bit suspicious of the gun. Why wouldn't I have a gun? I am a private eye for goodness sake. Of coarse I didn't want to tell them that. That I was working for Sagara, and trying to find his ridiculous "Secret Sake Stash". They were all suspects in this case. Maybe not the kid. I think he was too young.

After I was satisfied that I had eaten enough I stood up. "Thank you for the food," is said, "Is there anything I can do to repay you." I said the last bit to throw off any suspicions the red head had. I didn't really believe that case was enough of a payment for the meal anyway. No matter how terrible the food was.

"Of coarse you can do something," said Karou, "You can help me do the dishes." This was perfect. I could talk to her about the sake. Interrogate her, if you will.

A few minutes later Karou and I were busy gathering up the dishes to wash in the newly boiled water. Boiled by Kenshin of coarse. Karou had some strange control over him. Like he was her personal slave. "How long have you know Sagara?" I asked casually.

"Sagara? Oh, you mean Sano," said Karou, "I dunno. About a year now I guess. How long have you known him?"

"I actually met him today," I said grinning.

"Really? He invited you over here after you just met?"

"Well, I was starving, and he said the food here was good." So I lied about the last part. The food was most certainly not good, and Sagara let me know that. He was right too. A dying cat would not have eaten that.

"He tells me the food is awful, and he tells the first pretty girl he meets that its wonderful, and to come over and have some," she said hatefully, "THAT FREELOADER DRIVES ME INSANE!"

I laughed. "He is a freeloader!" I exclaimed, "I've only been here a few hours and I know that." Now that I thought about it. Sagara's freeloading was probably why he paid me in food instead of money. Karou laughed too. She must have found it funny that someone else actually agreed with her. "So," I said after the laughter had ceased, "Do you drink?" I felt like being straight forward.

"Alcohol?" she asked, "No, not really. I tried it once, and I had a killer hangover the next morning. I have never had any since. Why do you ask?"

She couldn't be the thief. _Thief?_ I had to laugh. Was I taking it seriously? "Just wondered," I said still laughing, "It's always good to know if my friends are drunks."

"Friends?" she said in perhaps disbelief. "We are friends?"

"Why not," I said with a laugh.

"Sano drinks, Kenshin too. I remember they had a drinking contest once. Sanosuke won. It was AWFUL! He must have tricked poor Kenshin." The event sounded like it would have been rather funny to have been there, but I did not want to make her mad. "So, the girly man drinks," I thought to myself, "There is my next suspect."

Note from author: I plan to have the next chapter up soon! Scouts honor.

Sano: Your not a scout

Me: They don't know that.


	5. Chapter 5

Note from author: The next chapter is here! I work so hard for you people. I like to see your input. Keep it up. It's nice reading what you guys say about my "masterpiece" **snicker**. Please leave reviews! They are fun to read (no really, they are). Oooooh I got a question for the reader (that's you...): Would you like to see another Zi Zakiro Mystery? Maybe with another anime (or area of interest to me?) I'm just wondering. I think I could write more. They are sort of long though, but I have plenty of time in school and what not. Yeah... OK! READ! I COMAND YOU! (.... Sorry... bossy... a thousand pardons!) Right... so now... Chapter **counts up on fingers** 5! Right? Five? Yeah I think... HERE WE GO!

Mr. Kenshin was doing laundry. Was that the girly man's job or something? Laundry. It fitted him. Karou must have been a pretty forceful person, but then again, she could never EVER get Sagara to do anything. He is such a freeloader. This Kenshin was deceptive, so I would have to be careful if I planned to question him with out being found out. He had found my gun after all. "If he is psychic," I thought to myself, "I may be in trouble." I cautiously approached the redheaded girly man from behind. (I enjoy calling him a girly man. Can you tell?) He smiled and hummed to himself. "Hello Miss Zakiro," he said to me happily, "Why are you here?" He did it again, that deceptiveness of his had come back to haunt me. How had he known I was behind him? I didn't worry myself about it. I merely figured that was just "his way."

"Kenshin, Sir," I said in a scared little voice, not because I was scared, but because it might throw him off, "I was wondering if perhaps I could help you with the laundry. Please?"

"You may help me Miss Zakiro, that you may." He smiled obnoxiously.

"Do you have to call me Miss?" I said. I hated it when he called me "miss" there was really no reason why. It was just annoying.

"I'm sorry Miss Zakiro, that I am."

"NOT MISS ZAKIRO! Zi. Just Zi.

"Sorry Miss Zak—I mean Just Zi." It was a hopeless case. I sighed. Must he be so polite? And what was with the "that I am" stuff? I felt like punching him, but that would have blown my cover. Least I thought it would have.

I sat down with Kenshin to fold laundry as he took them down. "Kenshin," I said trying to be as polite as I could muster. "I was wondering," I smiled through a falsely kind grin, "How long have you known Saga—I mean Sanosuke?"

"I have known him a while now, that I have." He smiled and passed me a kimono to fold.

"Well that's nice! You wouldn't take anything from him by any chance would you?"

"That I wouldn't, Miss Zi." He was very informative.

"Okay—do you have any alcoholic friends? I mean besides Sano?"

"What sort of question is that Miss Zi?" Darn. I was being to straight forward. "Well I suppose," he started, "Master is a bit of a drunk, that he is." Master?

"What is this master of whom you speak?" I asked innocently. I was wondering if he was in some sort of a cult.

"Master Hiko taught me swordsmanship," he said smiling annoyingly again.

"Where can I find this Hiko?"

"You sure do ask a lot of questions Miss Zi, that you do." Whoops, too straightforward again. "Very strange questions too."

"Well, uhhhhh. You see, I—"I scratched my head, "errrrr..."

"It doesn't matter Miss Zi," he said braking in on my stuttering, "that it doesn't."

Then we heard a door slam. "KENSHIN!" said a shrill voice belonging to Karou, "KENSHIN HIMURA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE WITH HER!" She pointed at me. _Her_? She was referring to _me_?

"Oro?" said a confused Kenshin.

"Don't you oro me!"

"What does 'oro' mean?" I asked, confused.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" screamed Karou. She continued yelling at Kenshin. She must have been the jealous type or something. I have no idea why she would be jealous of me. That Kenshin guy was just too—"happy" for my likings. While she was yelling at Himura, I decided to sneak away. I did not wish to be caught in the crossfire. I would go to Sagara again. Maybe he could tell me where this "Hiko" was.


	6. Chapter 6

Note from author: HI! Welcome back! We get to talk to Hiko in this one... yay. Ugh. I'm trying to write one chapter a day until I am done. Which should be soon (The mystery is almost solved). So... Yeah...

"Do you know a Hiko?" I asked Sagara hopefully after I had escaped the brawl.

"YEAH! I beat him in a Sake drinking contest!" What was it with these guys and drinking contests? "Hey. I bet he took my sake!" Brilliant deduction Sagara.

"Ya think?" I said sarcastically.

"Yep, and he was over at the dojo last night when the sake was stolen!" I was impressed. That was the most intelligent thing he had said since I had met him. I didn't dare ask why he hadn't told me this earlier. It might break his concentration.

"Where is this Hiko?"

"He's probably at the Akabeko, if he hasn't already left that is. He likes to get drunk before he leaves. I'll take you there! We can buy some ramen. My treat."

"But you don't have any money."

"I know," laughed Sagara. I didn't get it. So we were off to the place where I was planning to steal ramen from to—steal ramen? It didn't matter to me. Food was food, and I was always hungry. Starving from lack of money does that to you. We walked to the Akabeko. I was still hungry even though we did just eat at the dojo. Who can stand Karou's cooking anyway? Or get full on it?

"Here we are," said Sagara, "Its late, so he'll be pretty drunk." I looked up at the dark sky. It was late. I was almost getting tired too. We entered the restaurant. Sagara lead me to the corner food stall where I saw a man with long black hair. He could be the girly man's master; he was older, and very muscular. He carried a sword, but he kept it concealed underneath his coat. I, being a private eye, notice such things. He was flushed from drunkenness, and barely able to sit up. "That's Hiko?" I asked Sagara. He nodded. I sat down next to Hiko to have our little chat. I figured I could be incredibly straightforward with him. I could ask my questions without worrying he would lie, and if he did lie, I would be able to tell. "Hiko," I started.

"Whotha heck 're you?" he said, slurring his words together.

"Zi—"

"Nice ta meetcha Zi," he said interrupting me, "I'm Hiko, an' you have very nice legs." I felt my face turning beet red. Sagara laughed.

"See? What I tell ya Zi? Drunk as they come." He thought it was funny. That client of mine actually thought it was funny. Was I ever gonna hit him when we got out of there.

"Aren't you tha friend of tha idiot apprentice of mine?" Hiko asked Sagara.

"You mean Kenshin?"

"Yeah, whatever his name is. Is this young lady wif you?" he said turning to me, "Would you consider goin' out with an older man like me? Not a rooster head like that Sano next to you." Not again. Why did everyone think I was Sagara's girlfriend?

"No, thank you" I said, trying to be polite.

"Ya sure?" I could smell the sake in his breath.

"Positive."

"What??" That was the last straw.

"DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT STEAL SAGARA'S BLASTED SAKE?" I screamed.

"Sake? What sake?" said a confused, drunken man. Obviously he was clueless. That left me without any suspects.

"Good day Mr. Hiko," I said standing up to leave.

"But you haven't gotten any ramen yet," said Sagara.

"That's ok, I want to go home. I'll work on your case tomorrow morning Sagara." I was really tired.

"Ok Zi," said Sagara, "I guess I'll see you then."

"BYE LEGS!" said Hiko unusually loud. As I was walking out I heard Sagara ask Hiko if he would buy him some sake.


	7. Chapter 7

Note from author: Hullo faithful fans.... Heh I said faithful... ARGH! I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean.... Not that you needed to know that. Anyway... when we last left Zi, she was going home correct? Well here's the next morning I suppose.

The next morning I woke up around five. I said I was going to be there bright and early, and I meant it. I got to the dojo around 5:30, and Sagara wasn't there. What had I expected? I waited for about an hour before getting bored, and deciding to check out the crime scene. Was I taking this seriously? I think I was. Maybe it was the lack of energy. Waking up early was definitely not my style. I walked through the gates of the dojo, and over to the tree where Sagara had buried his sake stash. Every occupant of the dojo was surely asleep. I had no fear of being found as long as I was quiet. They trusted me anyway.

I walked up to the tree, and re-examined it. It was a good-sized tree, nothing really special about it. Japanese maple I believe. I looked up it, and down it, looking for perhaps a clue I had overlooked earlier. Nothing. I looked again at the drag marks I had made. If only I hadn't, the case would have been solver earlier, but I didn't know that at the time. I was right about one thing though. Some one had been digging at that spot. I needed to do the same. Perhaps there were some clues hidden beneath the ground. Perhaps Sagara's sake stash had never been moved in the first place. Perhaps this was all just some big understanding that I got dinner out of. Perhaps not. One thing was for sure; I would have to dig it up for answers.

Another thing was for sure; I needed a shovel to dig up the alleged sake spot. I knew Karou would keep a shovel somewhere around the dojo, so I went to look for one. I went over to where I imagined she would keep her tools. Was this stealing? I found myself thinking. "Not if I plan to give it back," I whispered to myself. Was I answering myself? I had less sleep than I thought. I snuck into the dojo. They were so trusting. They didn't even have the doors locked. Now I really felt like a thief. I snuck over to where I had seen Karou take out a broom for Kenshin to sweep with, thinking maybe there would be a shovel in there. I opened the door, and found nothing. I sighed. No such luck for Zi. I closed the door and slowly turned around. I froze. There was a dark figure standing right in front of me.

Note from author: Boy do I love cliffhangers... Is it just me, or was that my most serious chapter yet? What ever shall I do?


	8. Chapter 8

"Looking for this?" the dark figure asked, holding up a shovel. I couldn't answer. My mouth was to dry to say a word. I just stood there in the dark, not speaking. I was completely frozen. This wasn't normal for me. My thoughts raced. What could I do to knock this guy down? Then it came to me. _Knock his legs out from under him! _I swoop kicked behind his legs, and forced him to fall down. "Oro?" I heard. Oops! It was mister Himura! "I am so sorry!" I said, picking him up by his arms, and dragging him into the light. He had swirly eyes, and a big bump on his head from the fall. "You are quite the martial artist," he said, "My head will be hurting for a week, that it will." I laughed a bit.

"I truly am sorry! I had no idea that was you!"

"Its ok Miss Zi," he said smiling, "You need this shovel?" He handed it to me.

"Yes—But— "

"You are a detective correct?"

"Yes I am. How did you know?"

"Your gun excuse was not very believable Miss Zi, that it wasn't."

"That still doesn't explain how you know I need the shovel."

"Sanosuke hired you. There is nothing he could possibly have hired a detective for except to find his missing sake stash."

"Maybe you should be the detective instead of me," I said in a giggle, "Thank you Mister Himura."

"This one is going back to sleep," he said rubbing his eyes.

I took the shovel out to the tree Sanosuke had taken me before and began to dig up the space he had pointed out to me.


	9. Chapter 9

Digging up the sake was hard work. _Why would Sagara even waste the energy to bury something like this? _I later found myself thinking, _Why Do I have to do the work? Why isn't he here to work his butt off? _I had been digging for who knows how long when I looked down into the hole. Not even a bottle was left. No clues at all.

"What are you doing?" asked Sagara, leaning over the fence.

"What do you mean what am I doing? It's already eight! You were supposed to be here at 5:30!"

"I was?" The chicken head scratched his neck. "I don't seem to recall saying 5:30. Maybe I meant at night." I sighed.

"Whatever. Come here and help me dig up here so we can find clues to your stolen sake."

"That's not where the sake was," he said, looking at me like I was stupid.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THIS IS WHERE YOU POINTED TO LAST NIGHT!"

"Well, that's not where it is!" He jumped over the fence. "The stash is buried by this tree." He took the shovel and began to dig. He had a good-sized hole in no time. He was a much better digger than I was. He grinned at me. "Here it is!"

My eye began to twitch. "Here it is?" I said angrily, "I went through all that trouble and," I was screaming by this time, "IT WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!"

"What's going on out here?" said Karou, rubbing her eyes, "and WHY IS MY YARD IN SUCH A MESS?" I looked down at my clothes. They were covered in dirt and mud. Sagara's were too. "Uh-Oh," I said.

"You two are to blame for this," she said, engulfed in rage.

"No sir — I mean ma'am— I mean your majesty!"

"Good job Detective," said Sagara. I glared at him. Karou jumped after us, and began chasing us around with a wooden stick.

Another case solved! Thanks to Zi Zakiro, Private Eye.


End file.
